What is spiritual formation?

I am passionate about practical spiritual formation.

But what is formation?

In psychological and personal growth language formation is described with phrases like:

  • Moving from the false self to the true self

  • Experiencing higher consciousness, enlightenment or non-dual thinking

  • Healing from trauma, inaccurate narratives and unhelpful coping strategies

  • Living from a fully activated whole-brain/mind within a cohesive narrative

  • Being fully alive and experiencing unity with God, self, others and the natural world.

The New Testament presents Jesus as the path, example and guide to being formed in our deepest purpose and potential. It describes this journey using language and phrases like:

  • Becoming like Christ and having the mind of Christ

  • Gaining wisdom and character

  • Being fruitful and productive

  • Living by Spirit instead of first instincts or impulses

  • Growing in grace and love

  • Experiencing the fullness of life under God's eternal reign

A summary description of formation that we find helpful:

Spiritual Formation is an intentional process of becoming like Christ by learning to live from a more accurate understanding of who God is, who we are and how life works.

We participate in our formation-- by learning to use our bodies and minds in new ways. (Romans 12:1-2).

There are a lot of myths and misconceptions about spiritual formation. Here are a few we hear most often:

1. It’s all up to God and requires no effort on my part

2. It’s all up to me. I have to grit it out alone

3. It’s just about getting the right ideas

4. It only involves explicitly religious or devotional rituals and practices

5. My life circumstances prevent me from going on the journey

6. I can do it alone without the companionship or support of others.

There are a variety of ways we can be companions on the journey of formation together.

Nine Invitations to see and live differently

Nine Invitations to see and live differently

Dhaka, Bangladesh, is a city that has grown from one million to twenty-million in less than twenty years. A thousand people move to the city each day, hoping to find work in one of the garment factories where many of the clothes we wear are made. Hungry children beg for coins in the streets. The polluted air is hard to breathe. The people are radiant and friendly. 

I’ve had a chance to visit this colorful city three times in the past three years. Arguably, it has some of the worst traffic in the world. Eager to show me important historical sites, my friend drove me fourteen miles across the city—a trip that took seven hours!  As we inched, bumper to bumper, along the road after dark, my friend played tour guide: “there you have your Radisson hotel, and there you have your elephant.”  

What? I turned to see a five ton elephant walking along next to our vehicle. A handler led the compliant creature by a rope. They were returning from a wedding where the animal was forced to carry people on its back while they had their pictures taken. The driver said, “We’re lucky. Sometimes they make the elephant block the road and only let you pass if you pay the bribe.” 

It was sad to see such a powerful and intelligent creature shackled amidst the cacophony of honking horns and car exhaust. Elephants in the wild are surprisingly graceful, like the baby elephants I’d recently encountered frolicking in the mud at a wildlife refuge in East Africa.  

You wouldn’t dare try to tame a fully grown elephant. Instead a baby is captured. A rope is tied around its leg and staked to the ground. The young elephant will struggle for days and weeks to pull itself free, but will eventually give up. Years go by. The elephant grows incredibly strong. It could easily pull up the tiny stake. But it won’t even try. Why? Because it’s will has been broken. Its imagination paralyzed. Fortunately the cruelty of this custom has come under scrutiny and outlawed in many parts of the world. 

The way an elephant is domesticated reminds me of how we can become captive to distortions and limiting thoughts that shape our perceptions of reality. We can feel like we are powerless, even when strength and resources are available to live in a new way.   

Our perceptions are shaped by the small and large traumas of early life. And just like a captive elephant, we can become trapped by early perceptions of who were are, who God is and how life works. 

In my new book, the Ninefold Path of Jesus, I use the Beatitudes to represent nine invitations to “see” differently. The Beatitudes name nine distinct areas of human struggle that Jesus addressed in the Sermon on the Mount. Our first instincts are to be anxious, avoidant, competitive, apathetic, judgmental, evasive, divided, retaliatory, and afraid. Neurological research suggests that many of these patterns of perception are wired into the biology of our brains. For example, to keep us alive the fight-or-flight response alerts us to potential dangers. But to thrive we must learn to move from anxiety to trust: “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” Similarly, racism is built into our brains. We instinctually distrust people who have different skin tones and facial features than we do. To thrive we must reach past these differences: “Blessed are the peacemakers.”

First instincts explain a lot about the conditions we see in the world. Anxiety about having enough is the cause of so much striving and greed and the growing gap between the rich and the poor. Our tendency to avoid pain produces a distracted and entertainment-addicted culture and the inability of those with the power to take responsibility for the harm they cause. Our competitive instincts are responsible for our obsession with achievement and success. Our learned helplessness has led us to believe that we can do little to address systemic injustices. Our tendency toward judgment and contempt produces conflict and division. Our impulse toward shame makes us image-conscious, distrustful, and alienated from others. Our instinct toward dualistic us-versus-them thinking creates tension and divides in public and private life. Our tendency to retaliate leads to preemptive wars and a punitive correctional system. Our fear of death leads us to choose self-preservation over courage and self-giving love.

First instincts are necessary for our early survival, but they eventually become toxic. To thrive we must transcend our automatic responses and learn to see and act from a more complete and accurate understanding of reality. Jesus claimed that he understood the true nature of reality, which he called “the kingdom of God.” His invitation was to rethink or reimagine our whole lives—to see in a new way. His teachings challenge many of our instinctual ways of seeing, with the signature phrase, “You have heard that it was said, but I tell you . . .”

To live in a new way and to see the world become different and better, we must learn to act from this higher state of kingdom consciousness. Jesus invites us to confront our distorted responses to life and return to what is most real and true. The Beatitudes chart this path back to reality.

The Beatitudes name the illusions and false beliefs that have kept us chained and imprisoned. We’ve learned to live from a mentality of anxiety and greed, but what if this is a world of abundance? We’ve learned to live as if there is no option but despair, but what if solace and comfort are near? We’ve learned to live by striving, competing, and comparing, but what if we all have equal dignity and worth?

The Beatitudes point us toward what is real and true. We are not helpless. We have the power to do good and seek justice. Mercy triumphs over judgment. We can stop hiding and pretending, and be honest.

The Beatitudes invite us to a new way of life, into a path of recovery. Instead of dividing the world into us and them, we can learn to embrace each other as family. Instead of resisting pain, we can learn to be resilient and join the cosmic struggle between good and evil. Instead of living in fear, we can choose hope, courage, and radical love.

It's often assumed that the good life is only for the most wealthy, attractive and powerful. Poor, sad and suffering people are left out. But the ninefold path of the Beatitudes is for everyone. Whatever your story, whatever your struggle, wherever you find yourself, this way is available to you.

Am I greater than or less than you? Getting out of the game of making comparisons.

Am I greater than or less than you? Getting out of the game of making comparisons.

I like to think I am relatively fit and trim for a middle aged man—and that makes me feel good— until I encounter someone my age or older who is in much better physical condition, like a group of surf dads I recently met in Sydney. 

I’m privileged to spend my time as a teacher and writer, but my book sales are minuscule compared to several “successful” authors I know. 

I am extremely wealthy in comparison to the majority of the world’s population--in the top 1 or 2 percent.  But compared to a young man named Mark Zuckerberg, who moved into our neighborhood a few years ago, I’m not well off at all. (Even after the recent Cambridge Analytica scandal he is still worth 67 billion U.S. dollars).

We instinctually compare ourselves to one another. Am I taller or shorter? Older or younger? Richer or poorer? More or less attractive, intelligent or successful? 

Where do you struggle with competition or comparisons? How do you get caught in the trap of feeling greater than or less than others?

Social comparison theory suggests that we tend build our sense of worth based the question,  “Who is better or worse off than me?" It usually feels better to come out ahead or on top. Research suggests that we are hard wired to make comparisons. In one experiment, when participants in a game saw another person lose more money than they did, the reward center of their brains became more activated than it did when they won money. In another study, participants listened to a narrative about an enviable person's successes. When details were added about this character’s failure or bad luck, the participant’s brain reward systems lit up.[1] We seem to delight in other people’s demise, perhaps because it makes us feel better about ourselves. 

Surveys suggest that the majority of us believe we are above average [2]. But statistically, only half of us can actually be above average. In their landmark book, The Spirit Level: Why Greater Equality Makes Societies Stronger [3], Wilkinson and Pickett used statistical analysis to demonstrate the negative impact on health, education and well being in countries that have widening socio economic disparities— even in relatively wealthy countries like the United States. Their findings suggest that a widening gap feeds our tendency to feel diminished and disempowered by negative comparisons. 

The wise teacher of Ecclesiates once observed that “all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another.” [4]. 

We want to feel good about who we are, but is comparing ourselves a stable and enduring way to build a healthy sense of self?

On multiple occasions the disciples of Jesus argued about which one of them was the greatest, and in response Jesus said,”The greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves…I am among you as one who serves." [5]

Learning to make comparisons is developmentally necessary, but ultimately unfulfilling. Jesus invites us to move from what is instinctual, to a deeper consciousness than can transform us. “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.” [6] Our truest identity is that we are beloved, each made in the image of God. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” [7] Internalizing this reality can give us the healthy sense of self we so desperately desire.

Recently in group settings I’ve invited people to place their hand over their heart and repeat a phrase to themselves and then to one another:

“I am made in the Divine image, a creature of infinite dignity and worth.”

"You are made in the Divine image, a creature of infinite dignity and worth.”

Saying those words can sound almost too good to be true. But how would our lives be different if we learned to live from such a deep place of worth? Humility acknowledges the equal dignity in ourselves and others, and frees us to serve AND allow others to serve us. 

PRACTICE

Each day this week practice a breath prayer that helps you remember your true dignity and worth. A Breath prayer (or mantra) is a short sentence you can repeat that helps you be present to what is real. Choose three times at the beginning, middle and end of each day when you will stop to use the mantra, repeating it several times. You could try kneeling as you do this, or bow with your hand on your heart. 

[1]The envious brain: the neural basis of social comparison. Dvash J1, Gilam G, Ben-Ze'ev A, Hendler T, Shamay-Tsoory SG.

[2] https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/scicurious-brain/the-superiority-illusion-where-everyone-is-above-average/

[3] https://www.amazon.com/Spirit-Level-Equality-Societies-Stronger/dp/1608193411

[4] Ecclesiastes 4:4

[5] Luke 22:24-27

[6] Matthew 5:5

[7]  Psalm 139: 13-14

 

 

 

The Courage to name and sit with pain

With Dusty Feet Mob in Port Augusta, South Australia.

With Dusty Feet Mob in Port Augusta, South Australia.

During February and March, we spent 32 days in Australia:

  • Facilitating Thriving Family workshops and family camps.
  • Teaching in the Lightstream Spiritual Formation Institute.
  • Speaking at conferences and churches.
  • Leading Ninefold Path retreats and events.
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A memorable part of our journey was time spent with an Aboriginal community in Port Augusta. We were officially welcomed to country by an elder and ate kangaroo tail roasted over an open fire.  A group of women and children danced the story of the stolen generation for us. They also asked us to say a few words and invited us to share the Beatitude postures. We spent three days exploring spiritual formation practices with a group of young leaders who are working to reconcile the tension between their Christian and Aboriginal identities. 

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

Over meals and late night talks these leaders were kind enough to teach us about what life is like for their people. Early European settlers thought Aboriginals were animal rather than human and Australian first peoples were not granted citizenship until 1967. Many children were taken from their parents and forced into adoptions and boarding schools. Aboriginal people are genetically predisposed to eat “bush foods” and a Western diet has led to chronic poor health and disease. Because of this, one young woman in our group has kidney disease, is on dialysis and desperately needs a kidney transplant to stay alive. As we traveled around Adelaide together, I noticed how uncomfortable the group felt under the suspicious gaze of dominant culture folks at malls, parks and stores. 

“We don’t tell you these things to make you feel guilty,” the young elder said. “But now that you know, we are responsible for creating a better future together." 

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On the second day of the retreat we talked about the invitation to lament, to grieve what’s broken in the world and inside of us, and wait for Divine comfort. We went to an ancestral mourning site, a spring along the coast, and Shawn told us a traditional story about how these seven springs were formed by the tears of a grieving uncle. 

“We are always mourning,” said one participant, “So many of our people are sick or dying. Every week we go to hospital or a funeral.”  

I told them I wished I could trade some of my privilege and comfort for their pain. We explored the way of lament in the life of Jesus (“My God, my God why have you forsaken me”) and in the ancient Psalms (Awake, Lord! Why do you hide your face and forget our misery and oppression?) And then we spent an hour in silence near the spring. Afterward I invited anyone who wished to share a poem or reflection. This is what I wrote:

I try to imagine what it might have been like
to be among the first peoples
living here sixty thousand years ago.
Before civilization as we know it, 
before nation states and multi national corporations. 

It's easy for me to romanticize a more earth based and communal way of life. 
Hunting and gathering our daily bread and sharing with one another. 
Creator has left a small remnant to haunt us, 
reminding us of a way of being
largely destroyed and replaced
by a fundamentally different relationship to land— 
as something to be used up and exploited, 
and people as obstacles and annoyances
to us getting what we want. 

It's time for the oppressors to mourn
and the oppressed to be comforted. 
For old and forgotten stories to be told, 
for sacred lands to be protected, 
for monuments and holidays to be dismantled, 
for rights and promises to be resurrected. 

My life is built on broken treaties, 
on blood stained ground where the bones of fifty million bison lay buried. 
We've asked the few to carry the sorrows of the many. 
They go to the hospitals and funerals parlors and prisons, 
so we can sit in CBD offices, airplanes and bungalows by the beach. 

But our future is together, 
and I'm hoping that an old story
about tears giving birth to a fresh water spring
becomes a present reality for my sisters and brothers
who have already spent too many days in morning.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:


*When you look at the world, what breaks your heart? What do you see that grieves you, and makes you sad?

*What about you? What's broken in you? Where do you feel loneliness, sadness, disappointment, or pain? Where do you long for comfort? 


PRACTICE:


If we have the courage to name and sit with our pain, we may experience solace. This week, take time to sit with what breaks your heart. Try writing a prayer or poem of lament. (Adapted from The Ninefold Path by Mark Scandrette and Danielle Welch). 
 

WHAT'S AHEAD THIS SPRING:

  • Thriving Family events in Miami (April 28, 29)
  • Ninefold Path events in the U.K. (May 4-6, 8,11, 13)
  • Personality and growth training event for Youth workers (May 14)
  • Thriving Family retreat in New York (June 8-10)
  • Mark is working with a team and training chaplains to develop a spiritual formation path for men in the recovery program at the Bay Area Rescue Mission in Richmond, CA.
  • Mark will be teaching a Fuller Seminary doctoral course on Practicing the Way of Jesus in October. See course description