“How do I love?”
There are many, many layers to becoming whole
and learning to flow
with the force of love
Partly, it is how we think about ourselves
and the world that surrounds us.
And partly, it is what we choose to do
with our bodies, our time and our resources.
“How do I love?” Is the question I keep asking myself.
The bottom feeders, small time crooks and thieves,
those of us who are more unstable or crazy
keep getting moved around by external forces;
loss of jobs, housing, spouses.
Those of us with more svelte skills
move ourselves around through constant career changes
or the restless desire to try another city
like a fantasy of making love to another woman or man
Somewhere or someone else might be better.
We ache for what we do not have:
money, beauty, time, a cause, a family, love
We envy those whose pools of emptiness
are different than our own.
I’m staying in the same house, in the same city with the same woman
learning these streets, these creaking walls, and the curves of this lady
like they are part of the chemistry and rhythms of my own body.
Growth comes through change
and the changes, they can be external or interior
When there is not enough stability
it is hard to tell the difference between growth and entropy.
It is easier to follow messiahs from town to town
than to settle down
to the true work of becoming
the question, “How do I love?”
The prophet, hero or saint
awakens our imaginations to the real work of change–
which, is an inside job, an unglamorous daily chore
like brushing your teeth or taking out the garbage.
I want a love that is alive
an ice chest full of cool drinks on a warm summer day.
I want a love that is full of hope
chasing shadows away with its light
I want a love that is bold
leaving a clear and distinctive taste when swallowed.
I want a love that is enduring
a pair of shoes well worn and well made.
I want a love that is skillful
like good diction, neat handwriting
or the poetic motions of an artisan plying their trade.
Let me step with beauty through this scene
in the ongoing drama of loves triumph over greed.
